one teenage heartbreak

One day you'll see all that you have done to me.

Month: August, 2013

careless.

When you have friends, you think they’ll be there for you, right? Wrong. 

I went through a painful heartbreak recently, right? I let my feelings out on it in the last blog entry. But this isn’t about that. Well, it is, but it’s not the same thing. What I’m talking about now is friends. People you think would catch you whenever you fall. No. That’s not how it works. One of my other friends went through a painful heartbreak as well, okay? Okay. Well, someone who is close with me as well helped her out a lot. She hugged her and kept telling her that she loved her. She wiped her tears and tried to make her feel better. It was so sweet and kind and something that a friend would definitely do. Apparently, she’s not my friend. After the heartbreak that I went through, all she did was get mad. She told me to go away and then that I would get over it. Wow. Thanks. All I wanted was some comfort. I got none of that from her. All she did was be rude to me when I was in a time of need. It hurt bad. When you’re heartbroken, it’s hard when only one person is really there for you. 

Ouch. 

heartbreak hurts.

You know what? Sometimes life is unfair. It can bring you down so much. I don’t get it. Why does it have to be this way? I just don’t understand why in some point of my life-… why can’t it be different? Why can’t the things I need most work out? Why not?… 

Something happened to me. You’ll probably think it’s stupid, but to me, it’s not. At this moment, I feel as if I’m in love. I know that I may get over this person sometime in the future because that’s usually what happens, but that’s not how it is now in the present. Right now, I’m still in love. Right now, I’m still going through the pain of this kind of thing. I found out that he likes someone else. He would always say that the only reason he didn’t like me was because he just wasn’t into girls yet. But now when he is, he likes someone who isn’t me. When I found out, it stung. Of course it did. But then I had no idea who she was and it didn’t really affect me as bad as I would think it would. At first, I just assumed he might have been making it up… but I found out who it was. I saw a picture of him with a girl. Tons of comments said, “Aww!” and “Cute couple!” The smile on his face was not a fake one. It was a real, genuine smile. He fakes his smiles a lot in pictures or he just doesn’t smile at all. In this picture, it was real. I know him. I can tell just by that picture that she is definitely who he likes. You probably think I’m exaggerating, but I’m not. I researched a bit. She’s exactly how he described her. The thing is, she’s not one of those fake, preppy girls that I was expecting. He’s a basketball player. What more can you expect? She looked like a normal girl. He actually had good taste in girls, but he didn’t choose me. It hurts bad. When I saw this and it hit me, I couldn’t help but cry. I still want to cry more. I need a hug. Of course, you’ll tell me I’m just a teenager and I’ll get over it. I don’t care. I’m still feeling the pain now. I don’t want you to tell me that he doesn’t deserve me. I don’t want you to tell me that it’s not worth. I don’t want to hear any of that bullshit. What I need is comfort. Real comfort. Hug me. Tell me you love me. That’s the problem here. Whoever is reading this is behind a computer screen. You can’t hug me. You can’t. I’m sorry I had to pile this all over you. I just really needed to vent. Thank you.